As a kid, I was always a troublemaker. I’d make fun of my sister, refuse to do schoolwork, and talk back to my parents. Grounding was a punishment I received regularly, but I never learned anything positive from it. In fact, it taught me more about being sneaky and reserved rather than being a well-behaved child. It was a useless punishment.

Parents refuse to acknowledge the issue here, which is the child’s misunderstanding of what is right and wrong. As generations go on, parents lose the ability to communicate with their children, which does not teach children how to be better people. If parents took the time to explain the problem and how to improve, grounding would not need to be a thought in the first place. Why are we so set on punishing immature children for something that they are unaware is deemed wrong?

Grounding creates a barrier between parent and child because the child can’t talk to their parents about their mistakes. The parent sends them to timeout or their room, without an explanation.

In serious cases, some children say they had their privacy invaded, like getting their door taken off, or their parents going through their phone. These actions create distrust between the child and their parent, leading to less connection and less openness from the child.

Grounding also limits the child’s ability to socialize, which is a vital part of their lives as they grow up. Children need to socialize to learn valuable lessons and skills, but when grounded, it takes that time away to learn. Being away from friends can cause stress, since many kids rely on their friends for guidance rather than their parents.

However, parents believe that taking away a week or two of social life will not hurt the child. To parents, it’s an effective punishment because they see how the child reacts without their friends. Parents hope their child understand that there are consequences for their actions.

To kids, not seeing their friends for long periods of time can affect their mental health. The child may feel more anxious and lonelier without connection, which can lead them to more mental health issues. Is the punishment worth the repercussions?

Often, children and teens do not want to change after being grounded either. Kids say that they have learned nothing positive after being grounded because it only taught them negative things, like how to be better at lying, sneaking around, and avoiding their parents when conflict arises. It’s easier to be sneaky and avoid consequences, like getting a “trap phone” or sneaking out at night, than to learn from their mistakes.

Parents should understand that an explanation for the punishment is needed or else the child will continue to be disobedient.

When I was younger, I never learned from my mistakes while grounded because my parents never explained how to improve my behavior. I continued to be disobedient since I did not know any better.

Although I accepted my punishment, I never fully understood what I did wrong. It would have been helpful for my parents to explain my actions so that I could learn how to improve instead of trying to figure it out on my own.

Communication between parent and child is an important step in change, and helps the child learn valuable lessons about right and wrong.

While grounding is a common punishment, it should not be used by parents. There are other options that allow the child to improve their behavior, like doing chores, setting boundaries, explaining mistakes, and creating an open environment for the child to express their emotions. With these, children can feel more connected to their parents and can change on their own without being forced to.

After being grounded many times when I was younger, I know the toll they take on children. I will not stop until grounding is not normalized, and more efficient punishments are used, especially ones that help children understand their mistakes.

References

Burke, C. (2021, March 30). I don’t use grounding as a punishment, and here’s why. Scary Mommy. I Don’t Use Grounding As A Punishment, And Here’s Why (scarymommy.com)

Lancaster, B. (2018, June 20). Instead of grounding your teen, put them to work. Michigan Medicine. Alternatives to Grounding & Appropriate Punishments for Teenagers | Michigan Medicine

Lu, L. (2023, October 23). Is grounding an effective punishment for teenagers? The Wrangler. Is Grounding an Effective Punishment for Teenagers? – The Wrangler (ylhsthewrangler.com)

Reddit. (n.d.). How did being grounded by your parents affect you? How did being grounded by your parents affect you? : r/AskUK (reddit.com)

Riiroo. (2022, September 1). Is grounding your child good for them? Is Grounding Your Child Good For Them? — RiiRoo